I Couldn't Say It...

I yearn to right, but feel as if I've lost my muse. Where to start? What to say? I've yoga'd this morning. I'm officially a third of the person I used to be. I'm in love with my soul mate, and she came as a woman. Never in my life have I experienced a relationship like this, on so many different levels. I've never been able to voice my anger, terrified a fight would be the end all be all. Not wanting someone to know what they did upset me, because I'm stronger than that, they insinuates they have some control over me and my emotions, because it's probably just irrational and all my own bullshit. Who am I to throw that onto someone else? Being honest with yourself, in THAT moment. I kept identifying with thought. That calm, solid voice somehow welled up inside of me and I was guided to if I was going to identify with ANYTHING in that moment, identify with feeling, with body sensations. Where was it, and what did it feel like? I did just that. Looking into her eyes somehow has the ability to open my heart chakra like a flower. I can feel it. I smile, almost instantly, and she laughs because I "love looking at her" & she thinks I'm "wierd" :) lol. The spending so much time together is new to me. I find I sometimes begin to feel overwhelmed, like I need room to breathe, exacerbated by fears of her thinking things which just aren't true regarding why I feel I need "space" . I'm just not used to it. I fear getting bored, or co-dependent. I fear us getting tired of each other. It's time to figure out where I'm at in regards to relationships. To firmly know who I am. But can we? I believe we are constantly changing, growing, evolving. The moment I think I KNOW who I am, I will no longer be that person, I will have changed. Maybe it's more about being comfortable in who I am in THAT moment. I'm sensitive. I'm learning that. Super sensitive. I get my feelings hurt easily and like affection and I love you reminders :-/. I hate even typing that out. I get in my own head and create mountains out of mole hills and need someone I can freely share that information with so I don't do that. She gives me that. I'm utterly amazed sometimes at how we interact and react to each other. I notice how I've become conscious of the use of we, us, our. I usually use me and you, my and yours etc. I dunno, it's hard to put into words really. I'm grateful for it, and I'm often surprised at how much love I feel in my heart for her.