Do the Work

"It's 3 a.m. again, like it always seems to be."

Although it's not. It's actually 6:30 a.m. and I am inspired to write and go to the gym, after my tea of course. But the above is a song lyric from gentlemen born in South Africa with a folksy, earthy taste to his fingers and tongue. I like him. Sometimes there are more important things than working out. like yoga, or drinking tea or laughing with a child. Okay fine, that one was just added in there to fluff it up, I 've been playing around with my descriptions and style, and well... there was new flavor. I practiced the best yoga flow I have practiced in over two years yesterday. I breathed into spaces in my side body and hips I forgot were there. Those spaces where the air turns cold as it swirls around and I cannot dismiss that fact. I was more centered, I was more peaceful, I was strong in my core. So much I even went into un-assisted shoulder stand! If you don't know what it is, google it. For someone (me) who has avoided ab/core work as long as I can remember, my ability to do this yesterday seemed only a direct result of the work I had been putting into that area over the past year. It feel good, beyond good. The almost unnoticeable trembling muscles in my core made me smile a deep and satiating smile. So like I said, I'm sure my attitude had something to do with the greatness and depth that came along with my practice yesterday. Progress. A different space. We opened hips, we strengthened the shoulder girdle, the core and the quads. We did new poses and of course, Shavasana. It's the easiest and everyone's favorite, you "lie on your back, in stillness, and reap all of the benefits of your practice today." Most people fall asleep, who doesn't love Shavasana?

So today, yoga didn't make me angry. I didn't shake my head no and refuse to do a pose like a small child, sitting on my mat on my feet, glaring off into space. Today, I embraced my practice and that moment fully. Seems I have spent many days on my mat lately allowing anger to move through me, I am grateful for those days because they allowed me to have this day. Do the work.

Oh and my favorite part? She ended our practice by telling us to walk with Grace & Gratitude...

Passions

I am passionate and mesmerized by the human condition. Energized and inspired by the individual growth and overcoming of hardships. Truth; brutal and raw truth. The kind that you couldn't imagine uttering to another human being. The kind of thoughts and feelings that seem to bubble up from a space you didn't know existed and leave you shocked when the words find their way to your mouth rolling through the space between you and another person. The explainable. Experiences. Conversations that inspire deep thought and transformation. Art. Art is passion within itself, a bare-naked soul manifested in whichever way the artist chooses to express it. I am passionate about art. Practice; because we never get anywhere or finish anything on the first try. Quiet moments with the soul and psyche. I am fascinated by the connection we share with each other, nature, and the Divine. I am passionate about being true to yourself. Honoring your truth while being kind and tolerant. And not only allowing but encouraging others to do the same. Fairness. I am passionate about being heard, about being fair, about seeing all sides of a situation. About working hard and taking yourself far beyond your perceived limitations. Reaching out and being open. Feeling fear and moving through it. I am passionate about breathing and surrender, because stillness brings a sacredness that movement cannot. I am passionate about balance.

What are you passionate about? Where is it that you serve? What is it your soul hungers for?

With Grace & Gratitude...

When Yoga Makes You Angry

"I will not give up... I will stay in this fire...until I am free."

      Yoga isn't always about pretty music, thin bodies, and feelings of peace and euphoria. You don't always flow through each pose with grace and go deeper into a sea of bliss with each movement. Sometimes yoga makes you angry. Angry to the point you want to kick your yoga block, tell the teacher to go fuck herself and leave. Leave your mat where it lay, you can buy another, you've got to GO. Sometimes it's a slow and gradual resistance, other times you're fine until in their softest, most zen voice they utter the one pose that you...just... hate. The pose that requires you to muster every ounce of maturity you have to even attempt it, to even look like you're attempting it.  This happens because there is anger to be felt and anger to be released. It's hiding somewhere within your system unbeknownst to you but becomes a little more apparent with each breath, each subtle movement, and each moment of stillness.

       The yoga studio I frequent has a photo-copied 8x10 paper of a plain black bird in flight with a pale yellow background. There are three of them actually and below each bird is a few words of the sentence. "I will not give up...I will stay in this fire...until I am free." And that's exactly what it is... a fire. A angry burning sensation that seems to come from nowhere, as if your forward fold or dragon pose busted something loose. A fire that erupts from places that seem to have no foundation, no bedrock. No point of reference. Until I am free. Our initial reaction is ALWAYS to retreat, to withdraw quickly and with seemingly good reason. It cannot be good for us if it feels so unpleasant. The mind begins to chatter and race. But this is where you stay. Breathe and watch the mind. What is it showing you? Who is it showing you? What words are you hearing? Are you remembering something someone told you 5 years ago? Are you being taken back to that fight with your significant other from a few days ago? What do you FEEL? Other than the fire, other than the acute desire to flee? Pay attention and breathe. This is the key. Watch it like a movie, stay with it until you are free. Because you are halfway there and if you leave now you leave with the anger only halfway through it's conquest to be released. You leave that anger in your heart, in your mind, in your way... again. Leaving now you leave that anger open to stir up its mate in someone else. So stay with it. Stay with it as it burns itself up in the fire in which it was created; stay with it until you are free.

With Grace & Gratitude