No Choice but to Release

Okay, so there's always a choice. but the energy of the last few days has not felt that way at all.

What's going on!?
The collective energy the last several days seems to be pushing that which no longer serves the greater good to the surface for release. Many people are experiencing similar symptoms that range from a vague sense of waking up on the wrong side of the bed to migraine headaches and emotional outbursts. It just depends on where you're at in your spiritual journey and how sensitive you are to these shifts. This one seems to be pretty intense. And no matter how "sensitive" you are it will be felt on some level.  I'm writing this because I'm watching people struggle to feel okay these last few days and it helps to have an understanding of what's going on and to know that you are not alone. You are not the only one experiencing emotional outbursts, extreme fatigue, restlessness, impatience, and body aches. Obviously those are not the only symptoms, but those seem to be the most common this go around.

I'm watching the energy move up people's chakra systems starting at the root. As it clears, its circling back up and down to the chakra above the first one. What you feel is almost a tingling sensation, or a nauseous sensation where the energy is moving through and a heaviness or numbness where the energy has already been. It's okay. It's clearing. The best thing to do is allow it to happen. Be gentle with yourself and others. Understand we are all going through this together. Avoid addictive behaviors, watch your thoughts and do things that relax you and raise your vibration like taking a salt bath, gaze out the window, breathe light into the areas of your body that feel blocked or sick, inhale through the nose and exhale through the mouth. Google some grounding, clearing, and releasing techniques. See what resonates with you and try it. What the heck right? The most important thing is just to remember to let it be. Don't fight it. Do not struggle, simply observe, notice, & feel. The collective energy is pushing it up and out. LET IT. Just breathe. Our attempts and fighting that are only going to make it worse.

What to expect?!
February is about going inward. Mother nature is forcing us in doors, within ourselves, with the people closest to us who most able to help reflect back to us things we need to see. And well sometimes, this sucks, really sucks. It's painful and irritating, but in the same instance it's beautiful. It's a healing. There are more winter storms predicted and artic temperatures. The energy of February is very stagnant, and I believe Mercury is going to be in retrograde for most of the month which effects communication of all kinds. There also seems to be a sense of doing those things we've been putting off out of fear. Once we are made to sit still long enough (as sweet February is graciously doing for us) it feels as if we have no choice but to act upon things which we've allowed to lay dormant inside of us.  Mercury in retrograde isn't typically a good time to sign contracts, make big life decisions, etc... but this one has a different feel to it. It feels okay to do those things we've been putting off that will quite possible move us forward into new and uncharted territories in March and continue for the rest of the year.

I've never been one to sugar coat much so I will be honest, I have a feeling February is going to be rough for many of us, but the energy really clears up the first week of March.  We are going to feel trapped, anxious, and edgy. It is about letting go. We humans don't usually take the initiative to look at ourselves and our life when there is no discomfort, so Spirit has to create it for us. Spend some time with yourself. Our job is to keep our intention on healing and release. To take it one day at a time and be gentle with each other. When it's all over, we will be that much lighter, and that much more capable of moving forward in our lives and in our world. It truly begins within each of us. Our world is merely a reflection of the collective consciousness. It's time we get our of our heads and into our hearts. When all else fails, just remember, this too shall pass.  Hang in there Blessings.

With Grace & Gratitude...

Wounds

"It's not about the wounds from our past relationships, its about the wounds we are creating in each other in our current relationship and we need to figure out how to help the other one heal those wounds without our egos getting all worked up."

That might have been one of the most profound things I've ever said to my significant other. The goal, the mutual goal, should always be to help the other become the best version of themselves. That's why it's so important to mean what you say and be mindful with our words. It's okay to point out less than positive aspects of the other's personality but it must be done with love, with the intention of simply bringing it to the others attention. Maybe they will reflect on that, maybe they won't. That is not of our concern. But if it is re-iterated that our mutual understanding is to always help the other person be a better version of themselves, then that will allow each person to listen a little more intently and be a little less defensive. As always, the change begins with us. You get what you give. It's about giving anyway. If we stayed concerned with what we are or are not getting out of our relationships, we are missing the whole point. So, it begins with me. Be the change. Right? Yes. In those moments though, sometimes all you can do is breathe. Keep breathing and keep listening. In the grand scheme of things its about loving, giving, growing, and being true to yourself all in the same boat. Life has always been about learning. What are the principles you live your relationship by? What questions can we ask ourselves to get the most out of where we are right now? What is being presented as an opportunity to learn? In what ways are we being loving? In what ways are our egos blocking the possibility of growth? Are we being true to ourselves here while being kind? And might it be true that it is more difficult to apply these principles the closer we are to someone, although you would thing it would be the other way around?

As I get older I realize, you have no where to run. Any advice you receive simply brings you inward, back to your own, back to yourself to that part of you that does not belong to you. It is part of something greater. There is no such thing as advice. Don't ask what you should do, ask what they have done in similar situations. It is shared experience. Take what works for you and leave the rest. We are all teachers; we are all students.

With Grace & Gratitude...

To Capture Forever

"To Capture Forever" - It's just a lyric. Nothing special, no initial deeper meaning, it was just there, in my ears in the same moment my cursor took it's place in the title bar. But somehow seemed fitting.

I forgot how much I love bookstores... and coffee. Starbucks coffee to be exact. I've spent the last 2 hours or so walking around reading bits and pieces of art. Of peoples' advice, opinions, lives, & experiences. It's beautiful. Coffee house music enveloping me as I walk the isles completely content with my White Peppermint Mocha in hand. The only discouraging fact is that I have only half a battery life on my laptop, and surprisingly they don't have plugs. Guess I better write fast if I want to write. I was reminded today of my deep desire to write a memoir. To share my experience, strength, & hope as the say in Alcoholics Anonymous. Those things, along with my weaknesses, my perceived failures, my whole self as I know it. Self absorbed? Narcissistic? I guess that is left to the opinions of others. If it touches people, if it changes lives and inspires people to be who they are, to face their fears, it would seem it would be serving a grander purpose. If it didn't, that's okay too. The process alone would be an incredible personal fulfillment within itself. An incredible drawn out and in depth reflection upon my life. Reflection & introspection have always been one of my favorite places. I have found much peace & healing within that sacred process. A fearless & searching moral inventory. Although I no longer consider myself "part of the program" I cannot deny the impact some of its more powerful "suggestions" have had on my life.  I love this place so much right now. I love coffee houses, acoustic type music, writing, and people watching. It feels so good here. I should come here more often.

This. Here. Does something for my soul. It allows it to be open. Connected. Even though I am a mere observer. "Bring me a higher love" covered by James Vincent McMorrow playing in my ear buds... I watch three gentlemen discuss books, write, & sip their coffees. The first two sat alone and delighted in each others company for some time. They are all smiling & laughing. And I cannot judge. I have no idea what they are talking about, all I see is happiness. It's a beautiful thing. Aware there is always a balance to be maintained. Balance of reflection with present moment being. The flowing between the two gives my heart & soul feet to dance and music to follow. When I can be an observer of the world & lost within my own. When I can create my own sacred space within, and simply be part of the world without allowing myself to be effected or attempting to effect it. To simply be. And I am inspired.

With Grace & Gratitude...

It's Never About the Bread

I didn't eat the bread.

Although that may seem insignificant, it's not. I've spent the last year and a half figuring out what works for me now. Waiting to feel that peace again within myself in regards to my relationship to food. Because it changed when I got here. It has been a challenge for me to continue loosing weight since two of my meals usually include the consideration of another person. Another person who doesn't necessarily eat the same kinds of foods I do. It has been a challenge to find that balance again. I've felt helpless without a cardio partner who was willing to hit the gym last minute at all hours of the night and without high-intensity interval workouts at a private gym. But I have 65lbs to loose, and I will finally be at goal weight, and I want that for myself. I've worked extremely hard to get where I am, and the last year and a half has simply been a different kind of struggle.  But today, I didn't eat the garlic bread. They say it's about small breakthroughs. And that's what it felt like. I ate at least 600 calories in chocolate today, I haven't been to the gym in 5 days, and I haven't lifted weights in 6 weeks. But when I sat down to dinner I made a decision to not eat the garlic bread, I didn't go back for seconds, I had a salad as my side AND my portion was small. I didn't continue to sabotage my efforts. A shift. I didn't realize ANY of this until about 20 min ago. I couldn't help but to smile, to feel gratitude & happiness. It felt like forgiveness. Like I had let go of my expectations, of the past, of clinging to the old ways of what worked but weren't here now, to work with. For the first time in months, I felt a sense of freedom. Like the obsession was lifted, again... finally. Spirit has been working over-time in y life lately, or maybe I'm just taking the time to notice. Whichever the case, I am grateful.

With Grace & Gratitude...