Leaping Into the Unknown

"Go be you."

So, I here I sit, with Bigby's version of a white chocolate peppermint mocha, in a town I had never heard of until about 3 months ago. I asked the universe about 2 hours ago where I needed to go today, and what I needed to do. Looks like I needed to write, because here I am. "Go be you" I've been told that several times over the last couple weeks, in slightly various ways but the jist is the same... be me. Which most often leads one to ask the question, who am I? Well, I didn't even open that can of worms today. I did, however, hear myself say, "I am, and I take chances. I am a women who takes chances."

Up until the last couple years that risk-taking part of me just might, and most likely was, rooted in a fear-based or addict driven place. But not now. I've done the work. My risk-taking is born from a place within me that pulls not pushes. That guides & flows. The most powerful thing I learned from alcoholics anonymous was being willing to do whatever it took. And most often that invloves facing a lot of fear. I encourage change, growth, facing of fears, and digging deep. That's what I do. That's part of who I am. How dare I exclude myself from such endeavours? I don't. As a rule, I don't ask someone to do something I wouldn't. I've let change happen. Within a matter of 2 months I watched my life morph in front of my very eyes. Within 2 months I've fallen in love, resigned from two jobs, bought a truck, moved two hours away in with my girlfriend, left the station, left my yoga studio... The amount of change and shifting has been staggering. But it's as if I didn't do any of it, it just happened. My only job was to LET IT, which involved facing fears. The usual fears of what if I don't find a job? Letting people down, like my Uncle, my boss. I sat on the edge of Angie's couch a few days before I officially moved in an with tears in my eyes I said, "To say I'm not scared would be a lie, I am a little scared, but I want this." Ya know what, I feel like I"m rambling... so let's get to the point.

The point is, fuck yes, change is a little scary. HOWEVER, in my expierence in my own life and watching others has been, that the scarier the change, the more amazing and liberating the results. I spent the entire winter learning patience & trust. I now see why that was so pertient for me to learn at this particular time in my life. I lept. I lept into the unknown with nothing but faith that there was, in fact, something in motion and it was good. Something I may not understand, and the funny thing was... this time, I didn't seek to understand it. For once in my life, I didn't pull a million oracle cards, seek our guidance from some very powerful intuitves, or even simple advice from friends who know me failry well. I watched myself change, I watched my desire for what I had been doing for the past two fade, relationships crumble, things stop working that had worked for a long time.

LEAP. There has been multiple energetic shifts which is effecting all of us, in a similar broad fashion of things clearing out to make room for new, and then intricately different & unique for each of us on a soul level. It is more painful to cling to that which is being pulled away than it is to leap empty handed into the void.