A HA

There is a difference between embracing opportunities and watching things happen in your life, and going out and working tirelessly to bring about things you want in your life. There is a difference between your drive being from an I want state of mind & a deeper sense of purpose and pull. Push & pull. Maybe that's the difference. Pushing through something or allowing something to pull you through, food for thought. I asked for growth. Now I ask for peace, Love, & wholeness. This is what it feels like to be in align with God's will for me. Where what I want doesn't out weight what I know in my heart is best for me, for us.  Where I know this is not what I want, but I gracefully accept it knowing it serves a much greater purpose than what I can comprehend right now, and may never. And that I trust the universe is working with my highest good, deepest desires, and best intentions. "The answer will come during a holiday break" ... The repetitive thought: J & I are best as friends right now. The same thing I new in the beginning of October. I had decided to go on a 90 day relationships fast, and literally within the minute, J texted me "This feels like torture for me." People are mirrors. She's been telling me for MONTHS, she's not ready to be in a relationship. Guess what? Neither am I. I wanted to be ready. I wanted to be ready more than anything in the world, but I wasn't. And I'm not now.

How do I tell her? Trust myself. Trust God.