Truth. Honesty. Freedom.

"The most dangerous untruths are truths moderately distorted."  ~Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

     One of the most important things I am doing in my life at this time is being honest with myself. Complete, brutal, and humility-inducing honesty.  It is so easy for me to catch half the truth, and get the second half completely wrong... setting me up for a very dangerous half-truth self evaluation. I'm always growing, either I'm going in Love and truth, or I'm growing in fear and self-deceit. Ex. I finally admit to myself, you know... I really don't like her. FABULOUS. I've just been honest with myself, and now I can stop pretending like I do, which just breeds anger because I feel "two-faced", dishonest, hypocrite. BUT it does not stop there because I want to know why. I don't like her... why? This is where the tricky part comes in. Why do you really not like her? Well I'll give you a hint, when you've found the truth, your desire to explain, prove, or tell people why leaves. Because when the truth hits it's usually quite humbling. It's because you see yourself in her, and it's embarrassing. It's because you've spent your whole life smiling in people's faces when you didn't like them, and now wow... you realize it, you're doing it AGAIN. What now? Does this mean you are a terrible person? How do I know when I'm genuine or not? Where did this start? OMG, can people tell? NO WONDER I can't stand so and so... the list goes on ad infintium. Oh what the conscious, ego/fear based mind can run with once a total and true divine truth has been revealed. There will be freedom under these fears, sit with that for a moment; as the pieces of the explosion of self-deceit to dissolve in Love.

There are few things more beautiful than a humble, grateful woman. Do you really expect to gain humility without first experiencing it? There was a second quote I liked, something about knowing who/what you are now so you can become who you want to be. It's about foundation, starting points. It's going to be difficult getting started if I don't know where I am. GPS systems have to know a starting and finishing point, otherwise you wouldn't know whether to head north, south, east, or west. Just as with life.

To know who I am, so I can get to who I want to be by being honest with myself. Is this something that resonates with my soul? Do I really believe what this person is saying to me? Am I really not afraid of giving that speech? It's so important to say what's in your heart, when it's there. Right, wrong, or whatever. If you aren't being true to yourself or acting in a way you feel your suppose to or have to or need to... then you then you aren't being honest with yourself. You are preventing yourself from true healing and connection with other people. You will become bitter and begin saying things like "I know" when people try to help you, because you DO know... but you aren't doing it because you aren't honoring yourself.

One of the biggest lies I ever told myself was "I don't care." How much pain could I have avoided if I would have just said been HONEST?! Beginning with myself, and then someone else... like, "You know, I DO care. I care about what I eat (among other things), but sometimes I binge and then feel incredibly guilty afterwards, sometimes I become exhausted because I feel like I've dealt with addictions my entire life, and what's left of my disease is SCREAMING... DON'T take the food away!!! It's all we have left!!! I'm scared and embarrassed." What's wrong that? Nothing. It's quite freeing actually.

"And the truth shall set you free."

Love & Light
Dottie