"You have drawn this card to help you recognize the times and the ways in which you give away your inner power. This card suggests that you need ot strengthen your feelings of inner confindence and self-worth so that others are not so easily able to break down or deflate your sense of well-being. You are entering, or may already have entered a series of experiences to help you test your own ability to hold or reclaim your power. This card is suggesting that you will do well to make sure you stay in your own power even when others have expectatins of your fixing their lives."
Damn the conversations in my head, they exhaust me. Conversations of the things I wish I would have said, wanted to say but didn't, or didn't think of. Sometimes it's like a possible scenario, preparing me for what COULD take place, preparing me for how I would/could/should react with various reactions THEY might have. As if I could think of every possibility.... It's like trying to... I can't even think of a great metaphor, and I'm good at metpahors, lol. It's tiring, it's frustrating, it makes me feel as if I"m loosing control and creates fear. This is a big part of what had happened today. Every conversation in my head begins to obsessively roll around and allow another to follow.... driving me nuts.
I live everyday for the moments when I realize some deep truth about myself. (yes there are other things.. but right now this is the most prevelant). Today I learned that I give to much of myself to the oppopsite sex, so much in fact... I keep nothing for myself. I give my power away. So many pre-convieved notions of what I'm suppose to do, or how it's suppose to be.
I just read a couple cards... I'm in awe... I just want to take my contacts out and go to sleep now...Thank you God.
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