"The guidance through this card is that you are being asked to commit your full attention toward the living of your spirituality, because this is to be your means of service."
I have faith in that.
I was studying, but my mind is with this, and so I am here. I've purged old emotional hurts for two days now. Releasing, feeling, breathing, and resting... finally rest. I was exhausted last night. My prayers for Angelic and Divine assistance had been heard time and time again, and answered with Love. I do believe they are heard the first time, I often look back and laugh at my relentless desire to ask repeatedly at times and lol <-- that's from fear. Fear God didn't hear them the first time, deep down though I know He did. Praying for God's will, God's guidance and assistance from the Angellic realm to bring forth and and expell any old hurts that MIGHT still be lingering within me, I've spent tremendous amounts of time and energy healing from past hurts with every healing modality known to man, so whatever is left there... is minut, or was. I do believe the last reminints of past romantic or not so romantic entanglents are gone. Because right now all I feel is Love.
I'm very much at peace right now, quiet. patiently waiting 12:30 to get here so I can go to clinicals. Watching the conversations of last night in my head. I've managed to maintain a state of Love. I can relate to him. I've been there. When a hundred different things provoking fear inside of you, yet your so drawn to that thing/person you feel that it can't be good if you want it that bad. WOW. I love that line. Wondering now how I can post that on facebook and not offend him. :) Here we are, deciding to slow things down. Things did happen really fast... really it's not even been 3 weeks. It was a week choked full of lustful passions with little thought or regard to... anything really, followed by a week of seeing where our lives fit together, if they did at all.... tied off with a weekend of silence and reflection, and here we are. The good moorning text messages and good night phone calls began to feel expected by me. No excitment, expecation. The absence of them creating fear, in me anyways. I was wondering if he felt obligated to send those good morning text messages at this point, and call before bed. He wasn't, but I did feel he felt that way. I had begun wondering... what now? It exploded and was now fading, what now?
I've asked for God's help to remedy my obssessive thoughts, my tendencies to try and predict the outcome, and to help me maintain confidence in my own self-worth. I've decided to be patient, kind, and compassionate. I remember all to well the feelings he is having right now. It's interesting to be on the opposite end, but no less important.
"You are being guided to awaken a more balanced perspective in your life by expanding your capacity to hold love in your heart so other people and living things may heal."
Did I mention these cards fell off my bed, a handful face up and all but ONE being one I had pulled over the last couple days.... this was the only one I hadn't seen yet... and here it is.
Love & Light
Dottie
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