An email to a friend in July of 2010
Hello lovely :)
My apologies for it taking so long to write you back. I've read what you've written a couple times and seem to be at a loss for words. I know what it's like to be on both ends of the spetrum of post breakup get togethers ya know. Like I've been the one that wanted the break up and I've been the one that didn't. When you trutly love someone I think we ALWAYS love that person. Who knows maybe this is one of those things were you've been together for so long and one person feels the need to go out on their own only to realize they weren't missing much and come back and it's happily ever after. I know for me to be able to be someone's friend and ONLY their friend I had to have a period of time where I didn't communicate with that person. Like I had to get my thoughts and feelings together. There's a book that keeps popping in my head called "Being in Love" by Osho. It's been so long since I've read it I'm not even sure exactly why it might help but it keeps popping up.
My opnion I think what you two share or did share was very divine and pure. That kind of Love just is. It doesn't go anywhere we can't take it, deny it, and it's not ours to give. It's just there. Few people get to expierence that, and even if this doesn't work out for the rest of ya'lls lives take the lesson's and the Love and go forward. What a gift to have been able to share it. How to move forward? Not sure... I've done many different things to "let go and move on" I've wwritten out the good of our relationship, the bad, what I learned, what gifts he brought, and gave thanks just before asking God to help me heal. Seems there was nothing *I* could do to "let go" ... I read something just the other day I would like to read to you. It's from Byron Katie'...
"I once spoke with a man who had been doing "the Work" for a while. His wife fell in love with another man, and instead of going into sadness and panic, he questioned his thinking. "She should stay with me --- is it true? I can't know that. How do I react when I believe the thought. Extremely upset. Who would I be without the thought? I would love her and just want the best for her." This man really wanted to know the truth. When he question his thinking, he found something extremely precious. "eventually," he said, "I was able to see it as something that should be happeneing because it was. And I was able to say to my wife, "tell me everything about it, as if I were your best girlfriend." She didn't have to censor any of it to protect me. It was amazing to hear about her experience. I felt so much joy for her. It was the most liberating experience I ever had." His wife moved in with the other man, and he was fine with that, because he didn't want her to stay if she didn't want to. A few months later, his wife hit a crisis point with her new lover and needed someone to talk to. She went ot her best friend, her husband. They calmly discussed her options. He really lovbed her and just wanted her to be clear about what she wanted. She decided to get a place of her own where she could work things out and eventually she went back to her husband. Through all this, whenever the man found himself mentally at war with what was happening, and experiencing pain or fear, he inquired into the thought he was believing at that moment, and returned to a calm and cheerful state of mind. He came to know for himself that the only possible problem he could have was only his own uninvestigated thinking. His wife gave him everything he needed for his own freedom."
I think sometimes we get so caught up in how we think we are "suppose" to react or feel in a certain situation we don't even realize we are ACTUALLY feeling something else entirely. I that is often where our confusion lies.... How do we think we SHOULD feel, and how do we REALLY feel? Take it one day at a time, one moment at a time. If you want to call him, call him, if you don't feel like talking to him, don't. If you want to hug him, hug him. If you want to cry, cry. If you want to love him just because you can, because when we love someoen we are really the one that benefits the most, there's nothing like feeling love for someone totally and fully. He can't take what you feel for him away. So keep feeling it, and pray for the highest good of all concerned. :)
Feel free to email me right back. I hope you have an amazing day.
Love & Light
Dottie
P.S. So much for being at a "loss for words" :P
Hello lovely :)
My apologies for it taking so long to write you back. I've read what you've written a couple times and seem to be at a loss for words. I know what it's like to be on both ends of the spetrum of post breakup get togethers ya know. Like I've been the one that wanted the break up and I've been the one that didn't. When you trutly love someone I think we ALWAYS love that person. Who knows maybe this is one of those things were you've been together for so long and one person feels the need to go out on their own only to realize they weren't missing much and come back and it's happily ever after. I know for me to be able to be someone's friend and ONLY their friend I had to have a period of time where I didn't communicate with that person. Like I had to get my thoughts and feelings together. There's a book that keeps popping in my head called "Being in Love" by Osho. It's been so long since I've read it I'm not even sure exactly why it might help but it keeps popping up.
My opnion I think what you two share or did share was very divine and pure. That kind of Love just is. It doesn't go anywhere we can't take it, deny it, and it's not ours to give. It's just there. Few people get to expierence that, and even if this doesn't work out for the rest of ya'lls lives take the lesson's and the Love and go forward. What a gift to have been able to share it. How to move forward? Not sure... I've done many different things to "let go and move on" I've wwritten out the good of our relationship, the bad, what I learned, what gifts he brought, and gave thanks just before asking God to help me heal. Seems there was nothing *I* could do to "let go" ... I read something just the other day I would like to read to you. It's from Byron Katie'...
"I once spoke with a man who had been doing "the Work" for a while. His wife fell in love with another man, and instead of going into sadness and panic, he questioned his thinking. "She should stay with me --- is it true? I can't know that. How do I react when I believe the thought. Extremely upset. Who would I be without the thought? I would love her and just want the best for her." This man really wanted to know the truth. When he question his thinking, he found something extremely precious. "eventually," he said, "I was able to see it as something that should be happeneing because it was. And I was able to say to my wife, "tell me everything about it, as if I were your best girlfriend." She didn't have to censor any of it to protect me. It was amazing to hear about her experience. I felt so much joy for her. It was the most liberating experience I ever had." His wife moved in with the other man, and he was fine with that, because he didn't want her to stay if she didn't want to. A few months later, his wife hit a crisis point with her new lover and needed someone to talk to. She went ot her best friend, her husband. They calmly discussed her options. He really lovbed her and just wanted her to be clear about what she wanted. She decided to get a place of her own where she could work things out and eventually she went back to her husband. Through all this, whenever the man found himself mentally at war with what was happening, and experiencing pain or fear, he inquired into the thought he was believing at that moment, and returned to a calm and cheerful state of mind. He came to know for himself that the only possible problem he could have was only his own uninvestigated thinking. His wife gave him everything he needed for his own freedom."
I think sometimes we get so caught up in how we think we are "suppose" to react or feel in a certain situation we don't even realize we are ACTUALLY feeling something else entirely. I that is often where our confusion lies.... How do we think we SHOULD feel, and how do we REALLY feel? Take it one day at a time, one moment at a time. If you want to call him, call him, if you don't feel like talking to him, don't. If you want to hug him, hug him. If you want to cry, cry. If you want to love him just because you can, because when we love someoen we are really the one that benefits the most, there's nothing like feeling love for someone totally and fully. He can't take what you feel for him away. So keep feeling it, and pray for the highest good of all concerned. :)
Feel free to email me right back. I hope you have an amazing day.
Love & Light
Dottie
P.S. So much for being at a "loss for words" :P
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