The jolt of clarity that has been the catalyst for life changing events hit me again today. As was listening to the first CD she gave me, almost mopey, wondering if she was going to text me when she got up, and replaying our conversations from yesterday. I realized I was not helping the situation.
I've done two things I've never done before. I asked the universe to bring about my desired outcome, and did so with grace and humility. Not from a place of fear, but of Love. It wasn't a "I deserve this" but was an "I am worth this" For once, I genuinely felt I was worth and capable of maintaining this deep emotional connection that some have never felt. The mind is a very powerful thing, each instant I'm thinking about her, how I want things to be, what I'm terrified of them becoming, or trying to figure it all out... my mind is sending ripples of energy out into the universe which are creating chaos constantly. Allowing my mind to go nuts is allowing my world to go nuts. An understanding came over me. My only feelings where of peace, and my only thoughts were of kindness towards myself to gently bring myself back every time I realized I was allowing my mind to run rampat. In doing this for myself, I was allowing kindness and love to flow to her. I guess this can be related to "getting out of your own way." A trust became apparent. A trust in something larger than myself, that everything was and would work out exactly as it should... my only job to ask for guidance and take that action as it is revealed to me. So often I stew over shit. I listen to the same few songs and stir emotions within myself. It's like at at that moment, every thing I had been talking for the last couple years was actually within my grasp to carry out. The art of letting go. I remember thinking, so THIS is what it feels like to "let go" but I did nothing. It was merely a realization that hit me, an a ha moment that I didn't HAVE to keep thinking, and it was best if I didn't.
Does this mean she was not the first thought that flooded my mind when I opened my eyes from my nap? Or my heart didn't sink for just a moment when I realized she hadn't text me today? No, but I took a breath and asked the universe to take be back to where I was earlier, a place of love and understanding.
It just realized how absolutely powerful the mind really is thus making it extremely important to keep it focused on something that will allow the healing and love to flow to the area you have sought healing for. In the most simple and ego-understandable sense it's like finding a distraction, but really it's deeper than that. It's a trust that it's all working out beautifully and as requested; while keeping the fear mind occupied with something much less important and energy consuming.
A conscious decision to focus on something else not out of fear of creating that which you don't want, but out of love that by re-directing your thoughts you are clearing the way for your desired outcome to come about. It's that simple, and that slight. A tiny thought change which makes way for everyday miracles.
Love & Light,
Dottie
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