"Connect with others, lies at the heart of our journey. Genuine connections ease anxiety and help assuage our essential aloneness. They provide the secure base in which we can venture into scary places, celebrate our joys, and take risks, knowing someone is either there to cheer for us or catch us if we fall."
I read this at the end of a very emotional day. Hours where spent feeling feelings & emotions as they came and went. Exploring and expressing the feelings of others as well. I cried myself to sleep last night, wanting nothing more than to head back to MI, and cried today as I sat next to the pond still in TN. Here I am now, refecting. David Gray on the pandora, sitting alone, drowning out the world. What is it about TN that makes me want to severely retreat within myself. I did find peace today, rather, I allowed peace to be felt, it was always there.
Realtionship is defined as "a connection, association, or involvement; connections between persons by blood or marriage; an emotional or other connection between people; a sexual involvement or love affair." So when someone tells me they "don't want a relationship I just want to scream, what the fuck do you think this is?!?! BE MORE SPECIFIC. The term "relationship" means different things to different people based on their expeirence and perceptions. What does it mean to you? What is it that you don't want? Most people know that. We may not know what we DO want, but usually we know what we don't. And there they were, two cycles, maybe three, I had seen a hundred times.
What now? I breathed. I immediately sought out guidance and clarity from Angelic beings and spiritual teachers. Terrified I was simply repressing what I was feeling and would end the night acting out on addict behaviors. In other words, I was afraid I'd find myself drunk in a strange man's bed. I didn't. Thank God.
Awaiting guidance. More shall be revealed, until then I breathe and wait, ever so patiently...
Love & Light
Dottie
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