Being Single

I was skimming through pictures of an old friend that had just added me on facebook... combined with a Brian McKnights "I'll be" playing in the background... stirred up the desire to write, so here I am.

It hit me like a ton of bricks. I am single because I have chosen to be so. I look at my facebook covered with pictures of myself, my cat, statuses about school, weight loss, and life. Love, there is Love, but more so in the sense of that being all that is. Not focused on romantic love. Slowely I've transformed, everything I was, into everything I am now, yet they are so different. Like a line in the sand has been drawn, the last "checkpoint" as I lovingly call them has been crossed, for a while anyway. There are more, I'm sure of it. I want to be single. I enjoy it. I enjoy spending my time, energy, and money on myself. On my growth, my spirituality, my friends, my family. And that's okay. Every bit of it is absolutely okay. I've given much thought to my last relationship, all though he doesn't call it that... a relationship is defined as "an emotional or other connection between people." That being said, I look back on that relationship, which I have given a year and decided a few months ago I was done. It wasn't what I wanted, I took the lessons and the Love and walked away. He seems to be coming around a little more, but I have no desire to be his friend. I also have no desire to be WITH him in any shape form or fashion. There is still Love, Love never goes anywhere, it cannot be made, destroyed, taken away, given... it's just there, always, flowing freely in, out and around.

Right now. I feel stronger than I've felt in years. Solid. Emotionally Stable. As if from this point on I have the choice as to how hard I shall struggle with ANYTHING in life. For the first time, I trully believe the worst is now behind me. Like I"m standing in the aftermath of category 5 hurricane, in rubble, with the sun shining on my face, unscoothed, with my arms spread wide, a smile on my face and gratitiude and Love pourign from my soul like water from a fire hydrant. Nothing will compare to this. I survived.