Last night I had a dream the last three men I loved died, in the order was in love with them from most recent to most past. Me being the seeker I am, I woke up searching.
Dee was the first one to die. I cried hystericall as I told Mandy. Then Andy and Jared a few days later on or around the same day. I was writing down my dream in my dream so I would look it up.
Now the interesting thing is this. Yesterday before yoga I drew an oracle card which was the sacral chakra, it I'm very sensitive right now and should avoid addictive things and harsh environments, peoples, and relationships (that's the jist anyway). This chakra is orange, and has to do with emotions and sexual relations. So, during my yoga practice I focused on releasing < That was yesterday.
Right before I dreamt this I woke up exausted from not sleeping well and decided to meditate. I was praying and my attention was brought to my sacral chakra and I was asked why I was so afraid. What was I afraid of? I was terrified of repeating the same cyle of falling in love with someone who didn't want to be with me. When would I know if that was the case and would I be in too much denial to see it? I wanted to be able to know and let go if I was ever about to enter another relationship like that. I was/am willing to avoid that relationship, just afraid I wouldn't be able to see it thus falling into it again...A relationship based on sex and friendship, not what I wanted. Actually, I do.... just within a montonaeous relationship.
I'm rambling because my mind is going a hundred miles a minute. Basically, this is what I got out of it. The dream was telling me, those days are over. The part of me that attracts these kinds of relationships is gone. There's nothing to worry about because that part of me no longer exists. There has been a rebirth on a spiritual level. I'm excited, and happy. Although, there is a small part that doesn't want to believe me but I know it to be true. Thank you.<3
Love & Light
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