Evaluating the Second Step of Alocholics Anonymous

          I feel like I'm on the verge of really understanding the 2nd step. "Came to believe a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity." Do I feel insane? Yes. Have I exausted all attempts at trying to make myself sane? Yes. I few days ago I asked God to reveal himself to me. Was the past year my coming to believe? I think it's possible. Because *I* have been doing lots of things to maintain my sobriety, and do I want sobriety? Absolutely, because I can be extremely self destructive. I have been in the past and to prevent me from doing that, I choose to abstain from addictive/self sabotaging behaviors which encompases a WHOLE bunch of shit. I've even asked myself if I'm agnostic the last several days.  A guys today said his sponsor told him that he himself couldn't fix him, and that him (his sponsors) job wasn't to fix him, but to help him to work the steps so God could fix him. That made sense to me. The last addiction is thinking we can do it alone. Go to God, go to his children. That's what the speaker said, that spoke to me. I'm now in the solution. But what part does God play and what part do I play? "Praying only for the knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry that out." - that's the thought that just came to me. How do I know if I've crossed the line o carrying out God's will for me and carrying out MY will for myself? I'm going to read Step two real quick in the twelve and twelve.... It is not the insanity of the obsession of the drink anymore.  It is the insanity that lies within that fueled the obssession to drink. The obsession has been removed by God, as requested... then I set out on a journey to restore myself to sanity. I said thanks and see you later. It is time to re-evaluate these steps and see how they fit into my life now. Because it isn't about being powerless over alocohol anymore, it isn't about being restored from the obsession to drink.... it's about accepting the fact that I HAVE been there, and could go back. It is a possibility... and if *I* try to restore myself to sanity, I'll end up in circles. At one time GOD was the most important word in there, today it's sanity.