When in Darkness

"It will but I think it's always a good idea to have a week or so between jobs to fully disconnect and really be ready for the new job. We need time for grieving and letting go, time for transition."

"Ohhhh your such a hospice nurse...lmao"

That was very hospice nurse like me wasn't it? Transition. Letting go. Or was it very cycle of life? The death and rebirth. I loved hospice. I spent two and a half years of my life helping people transition from this world to the next. Holding hands, making judgement calls, and walking families down a road no one wished to travel. I was the after-hours hospice nurse, and it was the inevitable; the part of life we don't look forward too, and yet I did it with honor and grace, and I loved it. I also love silence and stillness. Should I be surprised I'm awake now? Here at 3:23 am, when the world seems her quietest. They call this the witching hour, I'll admit, I have seen many strange things happen at this hour and many times I've refused to be asleep and/or  in the dark. The dark has always frightened me a bit. I'm almost 30, and when I sleep alone I almost always find myself a night light somewhere.

I'm in intuitive. I posses the ability to feel, hear, and communicate with spirits on the other side. So I'm not sure if it's that or my wild imagination that most frighten me when I'm alone in the dark. Fear heightens the sympathetic nervous system and every sense becomes magnified. I'm energized, awake, and every tiny movement is picked up by my sensitivities. Or is it that it's 3 a.m. and the distractions of the world are at their lowest? The invisible energetic fog has died down and my natural intuitive abilities more easily pick up on things unseen?  Did I watch too many scary movies as a child? or have I seen my own darkness so deeply, I know what getting lost in it does for the soul, and therefore I tread lightly, always keeping my eye on the Light?

I'm not sure. But I do know that not too long ago, I read somewhere that when we get woken up in the middle of the night to not allow ourselves to be angry or frustrated but to be open to the messages the night may be bringing to us, and maybe that's what I'm doing now. Tonight I was guided to explore and examine my shadow, I was told there would be enough Light to see, and answers would be revealed. It's a fine line of discernment I think. Things shift in the dark. My intention is not to be metaphorical because I have a very real fear of being alone in the dark. But is it possible this is symbolic of something more? Something deeper, that my conscious mind has yet to grasp? Absolutely. The Light never seems as urgent as when I am surrounded by darkness. What am I missing by reaching for light in fear instead of sitting still in the darkness in faith?

With Grace & Gratitude...