My Sleepy Stretch & Cleansing Breath

This is my life. These days and nights, most recently filled with Netflix's top pick's and some form of nasal decongestant and acetaminophen. I have a cold, or a cold has me rather. It's Tuesday and feels like a Sunday, The past 5  days have run together forming a blur and haze of NyQuil hangovers and still watery eyes. I can almost enjoy the day. If I didn't know it was March, I might think it was fall. The leaves from last years un-kept yards are blowing across the road and the trees are naked, hard to tell if it is a fresh nakedness or not. 

I came into this year exuberant. There was sense of preparing to be propelled into something I had been waiting for. I thought it was my writing. I had begun the researching part of my nature, I was looking up writing jobs, preparing a writing resume, looking to change my day job to something that could be more supportive of my writing career. Books. I had been reading books about writing! That's what I do to prepare myself for something unknown. I gather information. Sometimes it's useful then, others, it becomes useful years down the road. I've always found it useful at some point. This is where I have always felt my passion and my purpose lay dormant, within my words... ideas, philosophies, experiences, stories. I share it because I love to know other peoples ideas, philosophies, experiences and stories. How else are we to relate to one another?

It's still March. And it would still be hard to tell if I didn't know it to be true. My only desire or mantra for the year was to remain open and really slow down and enjoy this year. I wished only to remain open to whatever life brought to me and enjoy each day, So even though it doesn't seem that this year will be all about my writing as I had thought, I have seen some big changes already in my personal and professional life and watched the year take it's time. My nursing career has shifted. I've take on a management role and spent time fulling embracing that and using every day as a learning opportunity. We underestimate the effect we can have on people in a more powerful role. It's important to remember that everyday people are looking to us for answers and for guidance. Also, I'm beginning to feel old. Not old in the sense of everything being downhill from here but old as in.. no longer a child. No longer the student. (Although I think it's important to always be open to learning). I feel grown. It's odd. I noticed it really about a year ago. I always wondered what it would be like to feel grown, and if I every would. But you do. When you see kids who are graduating highschool and you realize you aren't 18 anymore. You look at your friends, and they are all buying houses and raising kids, and maintaining careers. It feels good, I can't complain. I have found myself reflecting on what it must have been like to by my immediate supervisor when I was younger. When I was fresh out of nursing school, cocky, and had about a 1.5 second attention span. I would have wanted to punch me in the face.

So there it is, my moving of my rusty gears. My getting going of my dusty thoughts and cold fingers. My sleepy stretch and cleansing breath. 

With Grace & Gratitude...