Morning Tea & Scribbles

The last couple blogs I've written, I've not finished, therefore not published. How could I publish something that just stops. Like SKEERT. Done. Like you just walk off the edge of a cliff, it's over. Maybe it's because I'm warming back up again. Feels like winter today. I have my tea. I've pulled some cards. Nothing to exciting or focused. Just feeling. I wrote yesterday about being on a low-carb, low-sugar diet. Today I thought about writing something about what my cards said, eh that didn't feel right either. What are the things in my life I tend to write about? What things in my life could I also write about? I tend to write about spirituality and spiritual experiences. I'm very intuitive, an energy worker, and I somehow often find myself guiding others along their own path. Always seems to be something to inspire a blog. I often write about weight-loss, working out, just being healthier in general. I found that to be extremely beneficial. Sobriety. Although by AA standards, I would not be considered "sober" for over 5 years, my getting sober in March of 2008 was one of the biggest milestones in my life. I've written a lot about love when I was searching for it and I found the journey of it exhausting and  frustrating, but now not so much. I should though, I'm very grateful for the love I share with my other half. We've spent the last year and a half growing together and building a life that both of us love. I appreciate her, and I'm constantly amazed at how things unravel for us. For many years writing was a way to vent. To let out the thoughts and feelings that were seemed unstoppable inside of me. A release. Some people found them humorous & helpful so I began my blog. For another several years I wrote sharing my experiences in a very raw fashion with the thought that we as people helped each other to heal by being open about our struggles and shortcomings. Being open and raw with someone or many people, often opened the door for them to do the same allowing healing for all. I wrote my blogs, like I talked at the tables of AA. At this point, my life is not chaotic, I process things much more quickly. I also feel a bit more private and I'm not exactly sure how I feel about that, maybe I'm just growing up? My life now is fun and still quite interesting, but I'm used to connecting with people through shared pain. And my life doesn't reside there anymore. It's been a new adventure for me to connect with others over other similarities. I guess my writing has reflected that. Seems a bit less passionate, well let me use the word intense. I flounder as I feel the yearning to write, but struggle to know about what. Seems I'm tired about writing about myself, I definitely feel the shift happening, just trying to feel out which way it's going. Because I haven't written about much this morning, but let me tell you... it felt amazing to be here.

With Grace & Gratitude...