Children of Darkness

I stood next to my five year old, who stood on a chair, scrubbing the night's spaghetti pan because she wanted to. It barely fit in the sink, her sleeves were soaked to her shoulders, and I'm pretty sure she used at-least triple the amount of soap required. She splashed and laughed and asked me to help her dump the water and dry it; so I did. She continued to wash (and did and pretty damn good job honestly) while I dried and put things away. I stood there and watched her, amazed at her willingness to help and amazed at my patience in letting her.

In one of their new songs, Mumford & Sons, talked about children of darkness. The phrase caught my attention and reminded me of where I spent most of my life. A child in darkness. Today, my life is better than I ever imagined it could be. A deep, guttural peace vibrates within me. I do not fear the things that once ruled my life - addiction, myself, other people, insecurities, and so many other things that have filled the 15 plus journals I have scribbled over the years. It has not been without work, willingness, a little humiliation, and some sheer grace.  There is always hope. Everyday I see someone who struggles with being stuck, fearful, stagnant, sick, or depressed. Every time, I see something they could start doing right now to change their experience, to begin that shift into a better life if only they were open to it, if only they were willing to do whatever it takes.

If you are that struggling person reading this and truly want to change your life, find that willingness to do whatever it takes and run with that shit. Read books, make new friends, face your darkness, go to that meeting or that support group, be 100% honest with someone about what you're going through right now, start journaling. Do something, anything, new right now. If you don't like your life, you have the power to change it. It will not happen overnight, and it may suck a little along the way, but I promise you, it's worth it. Your life is worth it. The life waiting for you is worth it.